You Want To Be A Proud Boy?
If you would like to join the Proud Boys Michigan Chapter, fill out the form below. You must answer each question and all information will be validated. If we find you lied about any of the questions, we will throw out your application and you will not be contacted. Proud boys of Michigan reserves the right to run a background check on anyone applying for membership. Proud Boys of Michigan also reserves the right to deny and/or revoke the membership of anyone at any given time, without giving reason.
Here are the first four degrees.
You publicly declare you are a Proud Boy. This means you make your Western chauvinism public and you don’t care who knows it. If you support Trump (how can you not if you’re a Proud Boy?) and it comes up in the cafeteria, you proudly state your stance. If that gets you fired, so be it. Our forefathers died in battle to protect our freedoms. The least we can do is be inconvenienced. There is no anonymity in pride.
You must get the crap beaten out of you by at least five guys until you can name five breakfast cereals. If you hammer out, “Chex, Cheerios, Rice Krispies, Corn Flakes, and Special K” in a matter of seconds, you’re free to go. If you get flummoxed by the punches and cannot think straight, well, sorry, you’re going to get pounded.
The other half of the second degree is #NoWanks. This program allows porn only once every 30 days and insists a man can only ejaculate if he is within one yard of a woman with her consent. What started as a dare among Proud Boys has become the core of their existence. It gets young men off the couch and talking to women and it gets married men away from their computers and back into bed with their significant other. (Gay Proud Boys are exempt from #NoWanks because they are doing just fine for intercourse.)
While retaining the principles of the first and second degrees, the third degree involves getting a tattoo that says “Proud Boy.” If someone has a problem with tattoos, branding is permitted.